It seems like we’re all just a click away from communicating with the
most influential people in our industries. We can get “linked in” to
potential employers across the country. We can be Facebook friends with
former colleagues we haven’t spoken to in years. The degrees of
separation between us and the movers and shakers have collapsed. And
yet, are any of these so-called relationships real? Will any of these
online connections actually go out on a limb to help you? Will they
actually take an interest in your success? And ultimately, will they get
you to where you want to go?
Probably not. Andrew Sobel says the acquisition of hundreds of social
media contacts and endless but superficial networking have replaced the
cultivation of deep, meaningful relationships with clients, colleagues,
and even with friends and family.
“It’s not just the distraction of social media that is getting in the
way,” says Sobel, coauthor along with Jerold Panas of Power
Relationships: 26 Irrefutable Laws for Building Extraordinary
Relationships (Wiley, 2014, ISBN: 978-1-118-58568-9, $25.00) and the
accompanying workbook, Power
Relationships Personal Planning Guide. “It is genuinely tougher
than it’s ever been to build the trusted relationships you need to
thrive in your career.
“Getting in front of C-suite executives and real influencers is
incredibly difficult,” he adds. “They could fill 24 hours of every day
with meetings. Trying to connect on LinkedIn or cold emailing them won’t
do the trick. Just as an airplane must respect the laws of physics in
order to fly, your behaviors must align with certain laws if you want to
build the critical relationships you need to succeed.”
Forming such relationships comes with four major challenges:
To connect with people who are crazy-busy and have put up
walls to protect their time.
To become relevant to senior executives and other
influencers who won’t give you a second chance if the first conversation
doesn’t light a spark.
To resonate with others on an emotional level and create a
deep personal connection that brings you into their inner circle.
To make an impact and leave an indelible mark on those
most important to you at work and at home.
In Power Relationships, Sobel and Panas set out the relationship
laws that determine the success or failure of your most critical
professional relationships. These 26 laws provide powerful insights into
how to connect at the top and build deep, trusted relationships with key
influencers. To help put the laws to work, Sobel and Panas have also
written a 90-page Power Relationships Personal Planning Guide
that contains dozens of summaries and application worksheets. (It’s
available only at www.andrewsobel.com
and it’s free for anyone who buys the book.)
Heed Power Relationships’ laws and you’ll be much better equipped
to connect, become relevant, resonate, and make an impact.
“When you follow these 26 relationship laws, your network will grow
rapidly,” promises Sobel. “Prospects will become eager buyers. You’ll be
seen by clients as a trusted partner rather than an expense to be
managed. And you’ll find the people around you eager to help you
succeed. When you ignore the laws, however, it’s like pushing water
uphill. Relationship building will seem like very hard work—even
fruitless.”
Sobel focuses on two
of the challenges—to connect and to become relevant. Mastering both
of these challenges is step one to building power relationships. Without
learning how to effectively connect and show your relevance, you’ll
never be able to get your foot in the door to build a long-term
relationship with important people.
“Relationships cannot be formed with the snap of your fingers or the
click of a mouse,” says Sobel. “Building them takes time and effort. You
have to provide a compelling answer to the question, Why should I
spend my scarce time with you? Once you’ve tackled the challenges of
connecting and showing how you’re relevant, you can move on to the other
two—resonating and making an impact. But not before. Try to put the cart
before the horse, and no one will ever hear you.”
Wiley
Melissa Torra, 201-748-6834
Publicist
mtorra@wiley.com