Here comes the bride, saddled in debt. Wait. That’s not how the song is
supposed to go. And it’s definitely not how you want to describe your
own special wedding day. But the truth is, many couples get caught up in
(over)spending whatever is necessary to make their nuptials perfect,
leaving their original budget tattered and torn. After the cake has been
cut and the confetti has been thrown, the newlyweds are
not-so-blissfully left with a pile of bills.
Don’t panic. It doesn’t have to be this way, says Marcy Blum. If you
plan ahead and stay reasonable, you’ll be able to enjoy—and pay for—your
big day.
“I’ve been producing weddings for a long time, and yes, I know how to
spend lots and lots of money to make a wedding very beautiful and
exceptionally memorable,” says Blum, author of Wedding
Planning For Dummies®, 3rd Edition, (Wiley, November 2012, ISBN:
978-1-1183-6035-4, $22.99). “I also know that you’ll have a life after
your wedding, and it’s a good idea to keep that in mind before blowing
your savings and possibly your credit.”
If you’re unsure about planning a budget and avoiding financial
pitfalls, read on for ten of Blum’s tried-and-true tips. (Ignore them at
your own risk!)
Do away with magical (money) thinking. Perhaps you and your
fiancé(e), or your parents, or all of you together, have been smart
enough to come up with a budget early on. But remember, just because you
agree on a number doesn’t mean that everything you have in mind will
actually fit in that number.
“Figure out what you really can afford (or what you really want to
spend, which may be two different numbers) and then painstakingly map
out what really works within that budget, not what you imagine should
work,” advises Blum. “Weddings tend to be quite costly, and before you
decide to take your 100 nearest and dearest friends to a Caribbean
island to celebrate, get the real facts about what it’s going to cost.”
Don’t play cat and mouse with vendors. Everyone I’ve ever worked
with had some sort of budget in mind, but not all of them wanted to
share it upfront. This is risky business. Though letting vendors come up
with ideas without any guidelines may seem clever, doing so is the
opposite of smart for many reasons.
“Aside from the fact that it wastes everyone’s time, it also puts you in
the position of being shown designs (dresses, flowers, food stations)
that you can’t afford,” Blum points out. “Unfortunately, everything you
see after that will likely pale in comparison. Better to share your
budget from the start and let vendors come up with the best possible
ideas for the money. My experience is that they’ll appreciate your
candor and rise to the occasion.”
Track your spending. You can get a myriad of smartphone apps that
will help you with budgeting. iWedding, for example, has a good
budgeting component. But just like pen and paper, these apps don’t help
if you don’t use them and keep using them.
“One of the big tricks to staying on budget is to consistently compare
what you’ve budgeted with what you’ve spent and what you’re planning on
spending,” Blum shares. “That way, if you go over budget in one
category, you’ll immediately realize that you must cut back in another.
This helps alleviate those horrendous after-wedding surprises.”
Do sweat the small stuff. Stamps, calligraphy, gratuities, vendor
meals, and boutonnieres—each and every seemingly small expenditure is
still part of the same budget.
“Keep tabs on these expenses the same way you keep on top of the biggest
items,” Blum suggests. “They can add up to a surprisingly large amount
if you aren’t careful.”
Work together: It takes two, Baby. Sorry to remind you again, but
this is the beginning of your life as part of a pair. That means that if
you pay for your bridesmaids’ dresses, your groom will likely want to
pay for what his groomsmen wear as well.
“It’s the same pot of money, my dear—one budget—so this isn’t the time
or place for unilateral decisions,” reminds Blum. “You both get a vote.
Seek out your financé(e)’s opinions, and treat them with respect.”
Don’t be trendy. If all the wedding magazines and blogs are
featuring brides changing three times during the wedding, or showcasing
extravagant after-ceremony parties, don’t be bullied into buying in to
that trend, especially if it isn’t what you originally wanted!
“Our job as professionals in the wedding industry is to excite, entice
and inspire you with ideas for one of the most important days of your
life,” Blum ways. “That doesn’t mean that each concept is right for you.
Be a ruthless editor when deciding what to include in your big day, and
remember that simple and elegant aren’t dirty words.”
Be flexible. If you’re absolutely set on a date, a band, or a
specific photographer with no wiggle room, you have no negotiating power.
“Certainly keep in mind your first choices, but go into the process
willing to consider other possibilities,” recommends Blum.
Be careful about overtime. When you schedule your wedding day, go
through each portion and add up the hours. If the venue price includes a
one-hour ceremony and a four-hour dinner dance, each minute over that
will incur additional charges.
“Overtime fees can be pretty hefty, so it’s far better to figure them
into your budget going in and stick to that schedule,” shares Blum.
Stop watching wedding TV! There’s no such thing as “reality
television.” Let’s face it: the phrase is an oxymoron.
“So if you see me or any of my colleagues putting together a spectacular
event on TV for what the host tells you is an absurdly low price, use
your common sense,” instructs Blum. “Vendors donate their goods and
services to be on these shows, and the prices that are quoted don’t have
anything to do with a wedding in the real world—presumably where yours
is taking place.”
Control yourself (no last-minute spending frenzies). As the weeks
before your wedding dwindle, you’ll undoubtedly panic and begin thinking
you just haven’t included enough stuff. That’s no reason, however, to
start adding all the items that you originally decided not to spend
money on.
“Realize that you’re in the throes of wedding hysteria and stay your
course,” instructs Blum. “Resist the temptation to add that extra floral
piece, spring for the caviar station (because you were just at a wedding
that had one), or schedule an additional limo. If it didn’t fit into
your budget before, it still doesn’t fit. Take a deep breath and walk
away from your credit cards.”
“Ultimately, remember that your wedding is really about starting your
life with the one you love, not about throwing a party that people will
still be talking about at your 20th anniversary,” concludes Blum. “That
said, if you’re smart with your budget from the beginning, you should
still be able to plan an event that makes you feel like you’re living
your own personal fairytale.”
Wiley
Adrienne Fontaine, 201-748-5626
afontain@wiley.com